You may or may not know that October is “Pastor Appreciation Month.”

Because I have pastored for thirty years, I am hesitant to write on this topic, but I also believe that it is an important issue. A number of surveys have revealed that there is a significant attrition occurring within the ranks of pastors which threatens the future of churches across the United States. These studies show that in recent years over fifty percent of the men who enter the pastorate drop out before achieving ten years of service.

At a time when there are thousands of churches without pastors, such a statistic raises grave concern.

I expect we have all heard the joke that pastoring is a great gig as you only work one hour a week. While I expect that no one takes such a comment seriously, the fact is that most people are unaware of the load a good pastor carries. These same men are also unlikely to let on that they are over-burdened.  So, how is the church member to know what the life of a good pastor is like?

Perhaps I can shed a little light on the subject.

Because pastors have generally been respected and are influential, there have been, since the beginning of the church, imposters among them. Such men sully the reputation of those who have, at times with great sacrifice, ministered to the spiritual needs of their congregations and communities.

I have personally witnessed and have been blessed by such good men, and it is of them that I write.

First, the pastor’s primary responsibility being to God, he wears the mantle humbly. 

He is aware of the One to whom he must give an account. His duty to God demands that he take his responsibilities seriously. He is aware of his own weaknesses and faults, and in those instances where he is unaware, there is usually someone to inform his ignorance. But just as we all wrestle with our own blind spots and failures, so does the pastor and his wife.

He and we could wish that he were near perfect, having gained victory over his flesh, but that cannot be. He remains human, and he is aware that he will be held accountable before God and men!

He has a serious responsibility to his wife, and his relationship to her often attracts scrutiny. Marriage is a most blessed relationship, which makes it a special target of the enemy and all those who hate God. The blending of two people in marriage is complex and difficult in itself.

Add to that the responsibility to “keep it together” as a testimony to the church, and because others depend upon him and his wife as patterns to emulate, success in his home life is a heavy, yet essential, part of his ministry. Paul, in Ephesians 5 and elsewhere, placed a special emphasis upon the pastor’s responsibilities to his wife.

Next to his wife is, of course, his family. It is common in churches that people have expectations of the pastor’s children.

For some, the PKs are in a special class and are expected to be well-behaved and mature beyond their years. The pastor must thread the needle precisely here, dealing with the attitudes of the church regarding his children, while helping his children navigate the perilous journey to adulthood as the “pastor’s kids.”

Regardless of parents’ best efforts, many PK’s have a difficult time getting their feet under them with the scrutiny and inappropriate expectations they face. Thus, the pastor and wife have not only the difficult task of shepherding their children through the mine field of childhood in the “manse,” they often find themselves in conflict with the children they love so much, simply because dad is the pastor.

Along with this is the fact that his children hear him preach regularly and witness his life every day. He is not the “pastor” to them. He is dad, and they see him when he falls short of his own preaching, as he surely will.

Do you not think the burden of being the right kind of dad before them is a difficult and fearsome responsibility?

Then, there are his duties to the church. First, I suppose, after seeking to model Christ in his actions and words, is the burden of delivering the Word of God faithfully. His accountability to God to get this right is awesome and fearful. It requires diligent study and preparation, and probably ten to twenty hours per week for each message preached.

Some invest even more. Add to this the other services and programs which require his time and attention, and the mission becomes seven days a week if he is not careful.

He has a desire to get to know his congregation as well as they will allow him; and he will be praying for each one by name if he is doing his best. He will visit them, develop friendships with them, seek to understand them, their giftedness, and their goals.

He will carry them in his heart, even if they wish he would not. He is happy for their successes and feels for their suffering. Their trials become his own.

He has the responsibility to oversee every aspect of the church: its ministries, facilities, budget, and much more. While he may delegate day-to-day operations to others, he is ultimately responsible for insuring that everything in the church is handled well.

Then, there are the parents who unrealistically believe the pastor is responsible for the spiritual well-being of their children. Though he may have only an hour or two of interaction with the youth of the church each week, he is somehow required to counteract all the other influences in the children’s lives.

Finally, because we live in a fallen world and have a very real enemy, the pastor and his wife will face serious opposition. Scripture reminds us that we do not war against mere humans but forces greater than we can defeat on our own.

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places,” (Eph. 6:12, NKJV).

Therefore, the pastor who has picked up and carries the torch of the Gospel will be attacked in a host of ways by Satanic forces. These enemies will foment discouragement, anxiety, fear, and weariness that only the pastor and his wife will know about, and his own heart will indite him for his oft failures to measure up to his calling.

It may be that these conflicts are a primary reason for the high departure rate of pastors from ministry.

But they are not the only source of conflict. Church folk, well-meaning or otherwise, often believe that they know better than the pastor how things should be done, and do not understand the toll criticism and opposition take on the pastor, his wife, and children. There are a multitude of PK’s who determined they would never serve in ministry because of the bad treatment their parents received at the hands of some church members.

It is a serious problem.

And so it is. That man who  “only works one hour a week,” may be more burdened than you knew, and I have only addressed a part of what pastors and their families deal with regularly.

I have rarely heard a pastor complain, but I have spoken with enough to know that they often grow quite weary in their work yet continue because of the sovereign call on their lives, and their love for people.

I would suggest that every reader determine to lighten their pastor’s load through prayer, gratitude, and willingly taking upon themselves whatever part of the pastor’s load they can.

Your pastor serves Christ first, but a word of appreciation to him and his wife, whether in October or any time of the year, is a great encouragement to them.