Christian grandmother: “Pastor, my grandchild is joining the Ku Klux Klan and invited me to the hooding ceremony. What should I do?”

Pastor: “Does your grandchild understand your belief in Jesus?”

Christian grandmother: “Yes.”

Pastor: “And does your grandchild understand that your belief in Jesus makes it such that you can’t countenance in any affirming way the choices that he has made in life?”

Christian grandmother: “Yes.”

Pastor: “Well then, okay. As long as he knows that, then I suggest that you go to the ceremony. And I suggest that you buy him and his other friends who are being hooded a gift…work out your salvation with fear and trembling…It’s a fine line, but I think we’re going to have to take that risk more to build bridges so people know Jesus is a king.”

Pastor (Four months later after he is called on by many Christians to repent): “I wasn’t giving that advice to everyone, you Pharisees! I didn’t even know the Christian grandmother I gave this counsel to. Plus, I was only concerned with the relationship between the grandmother and her grandchild! Have some compassion like me and God. This is just like Jesus eating with sinners you black-and-white American fundamentalist rubes! Don’t you know how bold I have been on these matters in the past? Plus my advice on this would not always be the same but would vary from person to person. No, I will not repent!” (credit for analogy: Ethics Professor Daniel Strand)

In a recent American Reformer article detailing the decay of doctrine among Evangelicals, the point that generated the most attention by far concerned popular pastor Alistair Begg’s counsel from September of last year in which he advised a woman to attend her grandchild’s transgender “wedding.”

Evangelical theologian and author Owen Strachan went so far as to say Begg’s words caused “an earthquake in the Christian world.”

Part of the earthquake included leading New Testament scholar on sexuality in Scripture, Robert Gagnon repeatedly calling for Begg’s repentance, American Family Radio seeking clarity first and then dropping Begg for doubling down on his comments.

It was also announced Begg would not be speaking at The Shepherd’s conference (hosted out of John MacArthur’s Grace to You). Many other thoughtful responses by faithful Christians were put forth challenging Begg (see below).

And sadly (but unsurprisingly) heretics and false teachers are now defending and cheering for Begg on this point.

In response to the earthquake, Pastor Alistair Begg (and some of his staff) claimed going to a transgender “wedding” is a matter of conscience on par with whether a Christian would choose to go to a rated-R movie (a very foolish analogy that diminishes marriage away from its God-ordained, pre-political nature, which is vitally connected to loving our neighbors and that we desperately need in a healthy society).

As more Christians pushed back on Begg, he decided to address the matter in a recent sermon. In his message, Begg doubled down and defended himself, stating clearly that he would not repent for his September 2023 counsel.

Begg claimed (as his defenders have) that Jesus ate with sinners and tax collectors, belittling those calling on him to repent by comparing them to Pharisees and American fundamentalists who lack compassion (presumably unlike God and him).

Tragically, there appeared to be little to no humility in Begg’s public response. He did not address but rather ignored the substance of our concerns and gave a prideful defense that included pointing to his past faithfulness.

What follows is:

1) A response to Begg’s claims

2) What Begg could have said (and at a minimum should have said)

3) Vital questions/observations about the trajectory of Begg’s counsel for the local church

Part 1: A Response to Begg’s Claims

In his radio interview of September 2023, Begg claimed as a reason for his counsel to this grandmother that she go to the ceremony:

“…your love for them may catch them off guard, but your absence will simply reinforce the fact that they said, ‘These people [Christians] are what I always thought: judgmental…and it’s a fine line, isn’t it? It really is. And people need to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling. But I think we’re going to take that risk. We’re going to have to take that risk a lot more if we want to build bridges into the hearts and lives of those who don’t understand Jesus and don’t understand that he is a King.” (Update: though Begg did not share this back in September 2023, he recently said, “In that conversation with that grandmother, I was concerned about the well-being of their relationship more than anything else. Hence my counsel.”)

Biblically, let’s just recognize that a Christian pastor ought to start with the Bible, not concern for the “well-being of their relationship more than anything else.”

Faithful pastors have often had to tell couples hard truths from God’s Word. We know this sometimes comes at the expense of the “well-being of the relationship.”

What is Begg talking about here? He showed little to no concern for the Word of God supremely or other authorities in this woman’s life secondarily (update: Begg shared that he did tell her to speak to her husband, which he originally did not say).

One would think Begg would reference Bible verses concerning what the institution of marriage is and how it is something ordained by God and for God’s glory. There was no mention by Begg of the high cost of following Jesus (Matthew 16:24) or of Jesus’ words, that he came not to bring peace but a sword and would divide families (Matthew 10:34-39 ).

It is frankly pastoral malpractice for Begg to say nothing of how the world will hate us because it hated Jesus (John 15:18) and how we are not to partner with unbelievers in unrighteousness (2 Corinthians 6:14; Ephesians 5:7).

That Begg admitted prioritizing concern for the relationship is very telling and frankly disturbing. A pastor can and must be full of compassion and yet should not shy away from sharing hard truth.

Beyond referencing little to no Scripture, Begg saw no reason to bring up her local church and what her pastors might have urged her to do. There was no question from Begg about her conscience or what she thought would honor God, which is important even if it is not ultimate.

Begg is a seasoned pastor who knows God’s Word is supreme and while relationships are important can never be supreme. Since Begg has been faithful over the years many are (rightly) harder on him with his errors and defense here.

Biblically, love rejoices with the truth and not with wrongdoing (1 Corinthians 13:6). Those who truly fear God turn away from and in no way support or celebrate evil (Proverbs 3:7, Romans 12:9; Jude 1:23).

Attending a ceremony that openly honors a sinful relationship and gladly mocks and wars against Christ’s Lordship over gender, sexuality, and marriage is a grave evil.

Period, full stop.

It is not a fine line.

Jesus did eat with sinners and there are many gray areas when it comes to relationships with sinners. But Mr. Begg, this is quite clearly not one of them.

As Bethel McGrew rightly put it, “a gay wedding ceremony is precisely an idolatrous dedication…the true analogy would be attending a pagan worship ritual…” Carl Trueman writes,

“…attending a gay wedding involves remaining silent when one should speak. It involves a concession on bodily sex that undermines any attempt to hold fast to the importance of the biological distinction between men and women. And it involves approving of a ceremony that makes a mockery of a central New Testament teaching and of Christ himself. That’s a very high price tag for avoiding hurting someone’s feelings. And if Christians still think it is worth paying, the future of the Church is indeed bleak.”

Risks, Confusion, Ethics, and love

What exactly does Begg mean when he claims,

“We’re going to have to take that risk a lot more if we want to build bridges into the hearts and lives of those who don’t understand Jesus and don’t understand that he is a King.”?

What kinds of risks do you think we need to take so Jesus is regarded as a King, Mr. Begg? Elaborate, please. What kind of king will people think Jesus is when a Christian goes to what Rosaria Butterfield in her recent book rightly called “the public spectacle of a sham wedding, that gives a visible appearance of true evil.”?

So you think, Mr. Begg, that going to a transgender wedding that openly mocks God’s design and casts off his decree of our God-given and very good gender is a risk that will help people know Jesus is a king?

Does this risk-taking advice apply to going to a polygamous wedding?

A pornography party?

The opening of a strip club?

After all, they too might think we are judgmental.

We should never need to compromise God’s truth to preach God’s gospel. We should never need to put evil before ourselves that openly despises God the Creator’s rule and walks in unrighteousness.

At best, attending an LGBTQ wedding communicates a mixed message that confuses both Christians and non-Christians and reduces the potency of marriage for generations that desperately need to embrace, honor, and learn from it.

When any Christian, much less a prominent pastor, encourages those he counsels toward the idea that ethics is essentially about your conscience and your personal relationships, it gives a pass on ethical considerations the people of God must confront.

For example, it disregards relationships beyond the guest and the couple. What of the other family members or the good of one’s neighbors and nation? People will never be reached when they are told to ignore God’s objective law and truth and thus have no sense of the grace of conviction, or when they give little to no thought to their local church pastors and fellow church members, their witness in their community, and the need to be holy and set apart.

This opens up a license to subtly endorse sexual immorality, fruitlessness, selfishness, and more sins that are clearly condemned by reason, logic, history, science, wisdom, and most importantly, Scripture (Romans 1).

Despite what he says to the contrary, Begg’s understanding of marriage appears to be much less than what God tells us it is: a one flesh union between a man and a woman, made in God’s image, who reflect Christ and His love for the church (Ephesians 5:25-32).

In his book, After Revolution, David Ayers notes,

“Marriage has been recognized by the church as pointing us to the life-begetting, perfect communion of the Trinity…Marriage anticipates the wedding of Christ to the church at the end of history when she has been fully purified and clothed in radiant garments as shown in the beautiful visions recorded in Revelation 19:7-9 and 21:2,9-11.”

Secondarily (not on par with Scripture but worth noting), Begg’s view of marriage here is also a far cry from that of the American Founders who, whatever their faults, rightly “saw marriage as a bulwark of social order and a seedbed of virtue that the republic could not do without” (according to scholar W. Bradford Wilcox).

This has always been the case in our nation among the minds of many (by God’s grace). Dr. Andrew Walker recently put it well in his excellent article entitled The Anthropological Lie of Same-Sex Marriage:

“Marriage as a creation order institution and public good is the building block of human society. Marriage is civilization in microcosmic form. It is civilization’s chief organizing principle…While it is understandable that Christians may grow accustomed to the normalcy of same-sex “marriage,” we cannot let routineness overwhelm or supplant how Scripture and the Christian tradition have reflected on the uniqueness of conjugal marriage. Same-sex “marriage” is not marriage. Truth is truth no matter the untruth, and the created order defies societal manipulation. A marriage where husband and wife are rightly geared towards procreation is a blessing to society, and it is truly irreplaceable.”

Begg’s counsel and those who defend him disconnect the love of neighbor and one’s witness from honoring God’s design for the pre-political, God-ordained, vital institution of marriage.

Marriage, though belittled and redefined in our day, continues to be an essential public good and the basic building block of society. It blesses future children of a nation (with stability and many more blessings) and can never be cut off from how we love our neighbor.

Nearly three decades ago when arguing against homosexual marriage, the late American political scientist James Q. Wilson asked: “Why should an alternative to marriage be invented and praised when we are having enough trouble maintaining the institution at all?”

Indeed. This is a vital question even now concerning how we glorify God and love our neighbor, nation, and future generations. Does Begg not see how his counsel runs against and belittles the crucial God-given, good institution of marriage?

How does Begg not see that his recent counsel does not love one’s neighbors as ourselves as our Lord commanded but rather promotes lies that affirms sins which cause great earthly and eternal destruction?

Part 2: What Alistair Begg could have (and at a minimum should have) said:

Though clear, quick, and humble repentance would have honored God and been preferable (and is still something we should pray for), here are my thoughts on what Begg could have said that would have been far better than his foolish digging in and recent defense:

“You know friends, above all, I want to glorify God according to God’s Word. This has weighed heavily on my heart the last few days and I have spent much time in God’s Word, in prayer, and under wise counsel. In Proverbs 18:17, the Lord wisely tells us, “Whoever states his case first seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.” I have been wrong on many things in my life and I could be wrong on this. I may not agree yet with my critics but when many of them have clearly disagreed with me and are Christians humbly appealing to God’s Word, they are not Pharisees but friends.

 Those who oppose me include courageous and thoughtful blogger Samuel Sey, respected professor Carl Trueman, leading New Testament scholar Robert Gagnon, seasoned and gracious apologist Greg Koukl, sharp cultural commentator and writer Bethel McGrew, scholar Tony Costa, and more.

 I also realize that in the very recent past on this same issue, many other faithful Christians would strongly disagree with my counsel to this grandmother. These Christians have addressed these matters and have directly opposed the counsel I gave and include such voices as President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and public theologian Al Mohler, respected pastor and author Kevin DeYoung, African Christian University’s Voddie Baucham, best-selling author Rosaria Butterfield (a former lesbian), Christian author and podcaster Alisa Childers, and author Becket Cook (a former homosexual) to name just a few.

Again, insofar as these Christians are humbly appealing to the truth of God’s Word, they are not to be mocked or viewed as Pharisees but as friends who fear the Lord and love God’s Word. They love me and are trying to honor God in an evil and confused age. All of us, myself included, should remember Scripture tells us, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6).

 So, because these friends are faithful and some have supported me and have urged me to rethink this, I want to and will. I am committed to prayerfully searching the Scriptures and seeking wise counsel on this. I want to think and pray about this more. I want each one of you to know I stand firm under the Lordship of Christ and truly want to live according to the whole counsel of God’s Word.

 I understand many of you who love the Lord Jesus see my words as inconsistent with God’s Word. And some of you claim it contradicts and undermines much of my other ministry. That grieves me and I hope you know I have no desire to divide the body of Christ. I also realize how you view the counsel I gave to this woman as a compromise and confusing. I respect and praise God for your desire to honor Him by living a holy life and not partnering with darkness (2 Corinthians 6:14).

 In a day when so many are deceived and confused and have redefined the gospel on this very point and even now are cruelly blessing sinners in their sins, please know that is not at all my desire nor do I believe that would honor God. I want to lovingly call on these friends who are dead in sin and deceived about God’s righteousness to repent and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ as the only savior.

 I also recognize many of you face difficulties in your workplaces, with your friends and family, and with your neighbors on these matters and it can be costly. Perhaps you are tempted to cave in to pressure and give up the biblical view of marriage, family, sex, and gender. Perhaps some of you have lost jobs. There is a lot of pressure put on all of us who are truly God-fearing Christians in these areas and I want you to know I do not take these rebukes and words of correction lightly. I have no desire to compromise and know that God said we will be hated and Jesus said He would divide families.

 Pray for me. And let us all hold fast to God’s Word. Let me urge you to walk wisely and humbly with the Lord. Do not give in to any sins but rather keep seeking to live a holy life to God’s glory. If you do sin, confess and repent of those sins to God’s glory. Please don’t use my counsel to justify support of sin in any way. Listen and heed God’s written Word supremely and listen to the counsel of the pastors of your local church.

If you are hearing my words and you are not a Christian but a sinner struggling with these particular sins or any sins, know that Jesus Christ came to seek and save the lost. He is the perfect Savior and Lord and in Christ God will gladly, freely, and fully forgive you for all your sins. He is gracious and the God of truth and grace. Thank you and may God be glorified in all our lives.”

The above (or something like it) is what Begg could have said. Frankly, many of us wish we would have heard even a straightforward, humble,

“I apologize for that confusion and my lack of clarity. I was concerned for this woman but I can see how my counsel is confusing and sounds inconsistent with God’s Word. The counsel I gave was not right or helpful and it was not in line with Scripture. I am sorry. There is a better, more God-honoring way to build bridges with unbelievers that gives no appearance of supporting evil. And there are many ways to love people in sin and have compassion on them that do not openly undermine God’s good design for marriage.”

Sadly, Begg hardly did any of that and instead dug his heels in…and it’s truly tragic.

Part 3: Some observations and questions on the trajectory of Begg’s counsel:

Begg’s incredibly foolish, compromised, and biblically baseless counsel will not remain isolated, forgotten, or memory-holed (contrary to what some might believe and hope). Begg’s ministry is influential and has earned the trust of many Evangelicals. As Pastor Tom Ascol recently and wisely put it:

“The error of a faithful teacher is more dangerous than the error of a kook. The former will be considered more seriously because of the trustworthiness of the source. The latter is regarded skeptically because of the source.”

With temptations to compromise on sexual immorality constantly barraging Evangelicals, it should come as no surprise when increasing numbers of self-professing Evangelicals appeal to Begg’s “wisdom.” When you couple this with the fact that God has spoken definitively in His Word on marriage, sex, gender, and sin (and the world despises God’s wisdom and design), as the pressure mounts on Christians to cave and compromise, many likely (and wrongly) will.

Many Evangelicals, especially younger (and less mature) ones are probably relieved by Begg’s counsel, which will serve to soothe their consciences and free them up to further set aside and ignore Scripture and natural law (which Protestants, as David Haines rightly observes, need to recover).

Begg’s counsel allows Evangelicals to comfortably maintain a status quo of favor with secular peers and thereby avoid the clash and mess that faithfulness to Christ and costly discipleship demands. Recently, respected pastor Tom Ascol wisely noted,

“The error of a faithful teacher is more dangerous than the error of a kook. The former will be considered more seriously because of the trustworthiness of the source. The latter is regarded skeptically because of the source.”

Indeed. Sadly, this has already divided professing Christians. However, it will strengthen the true church of Christ.

In light of this Begg controversy, Evangelicals must consider in their heart of hearts:

• Is God the Creator and judge of everyone?

• Are the sins of cross-dressing and exchanging the truth of God defined clearly in the Scripture? (Deuteronomy 22:5; Romans 1:24-28; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

• Are sins of sexual immorality (along with all sin) a real threat to the earthly and eternal well-being of human beings made in God’s image and for His glory?

• Are these sins trespasses against God’s holiness and holy law that all people are to humbly repent of and forsake?

• Are these sins worthy of warning and do they require a clear gospel call to repent and forsake them and to turn and trust in Jesus Christ for forgiveness?

On Begg’s specific counsel and his defense:

• Is Begg’s original counsel and defense truly honoring to God and consistent with God’s Word?

• Is Begg’s counsel truly a matter of individual conscience or does the Word of God inform how we must think and act on these matters with complete clarity and total sufficiency?

• How does this counsel, consistently applied, not open the gates and lead to more and more compromise? As one anonymous X user thoughtfully pointed out, “Alistair Begg’s position applied consistently means John the Baptist would have attended Herod and Herodias’ wedding and brought a gift, after all, they knew he was opposed to it and that’s all that matters.” (see Mark 6:18)

• Especially in a post-Obergefell world, where Jack Philips is being sued and Christians are targeted, why would Begg encourage the further diminishment and decay of an already weak yet vital institution like true marriage? Why would he promote such brazen confusion?

For your church:

• Take Alistair Begg out of the equation. If any pastor gave the above public counsel, how would you respond? Let’s personalize it: if a pastor of your church gave the above counsel, what would you think and do?

• By what standard can you claim it is wrong for a Christian to attend a polygamous “wedding ceremony?” A divorce party? A post-abortion celebration? An illegal border crossing reunion? (You claim, “But that last example is illegal and immoral, so there!” Then let me ask you this: what if “the laws” of a nation changed so that it was merely immoral to cross a border and not also illegal? Would you then attend an illegal border crossing reunion party so people would not think you were judgmental and so you could take risks to build bridges? Would people really know Jesus is a king? What kind of king would he be if you participated in each of these?)

• If Alistair Begg will not publicly repent but remains convinced his counsel honors God and is sound and consistent with Scripture, what then? Will you continue to financially support ministries and attend conferences where there is such clear compromise and confusion? Will that truly honor God?

• What do your fellow church members and pastors/elders believe about this whole situation? How would they counsel the same grandmother if they were called upon to give her counsel? And how do they respond to what Begg has said? Ask them ASAP, take note, and act to God’s glory accordingly.

• Do your pastors and the members of your church believe this is merely a matter of bad advice from a faithful man? Or is this something he should repent of and that is lawlessness against God’s holy and righteous character? Ask them and listen closely.

• What will you do if/when your pastor or fellow church member offers or defends the same counsel and encourages the same kind of compromise and complicity with the spirit of the age as Begg? Is what God’s Word says concerning marriage, gender, and sex settled and clear in your mind?

• If you were on a pastoral search committee and a young candidate gave the above answers to your search committee or shared that he had given that advice, would you be interested in calling him to be the pastor of your church? Why or why not?

• Pray for Alistair Begg and those around him speaking the truth in love to him. And be prepared to faithfully stand under the Lordship of Christ no matter the cost. Strengthen yourself with God’s Word so you and your church especially your pastors (Titus 1:9) are willing to compassionately call any Christian—especially those in your own church-to repent who are not straightforward about the truth of the gospel (Galatians 2:14). 

If you wonder whether this is really a matter of Christian orthodoxy, consider:

• The ancient Apostle’s Creed recited by thousands of congregations every Lord’s Day declares, “I believe in God the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth.”

• The affirmation of God’s good creation and good design in creating us male and female, with marriage being between one man and one woman for life, in covenantal union reflecting Christ and the church is part of the “unchanging witness” of the true church of the Lord Jesus Christ.

• Expert scholar David Ayers notes in his book After the Revolution, “That God’s moral law binds sex to lifelong, exclusive marital bonds has never been contested by any wing of orthodox Christianity.”

• Whereas Roman Catholics elevate marriage to a sacrament and Mormons claim marriage is eternal, many self-professing evangelicals apparently fail to grasp that marriage is creational and therefore established by God. It cannot simply be an agree-to-disagree matter.

Evangelicals have not always been so confused. In 2011, it was no surprise that Joel Osteen said he could not officiate a gay wedding but he would attend one. In response, Al Mohler rightly said:

“This is beyond mere incoherence. It is moral and theological nonsense. More than that, it is a massive statement of ministerial malpractice…you cannot celebrate what you say you know to be sin. You cannot honestly say that same-sex marriage defies the law of God, and then join in the celebration of that ceremony.”

Who would have thought that in 2023, Pastor Alistair Begg’s counsel would align more with prosperity heretic Joel Osteen than with Al Mohler?

Conclusion

We are people of truth who serve King Jesus, who is full of grace and truth and never compromises one or the other. Let us pray for Alistair Begg. He is not thinking clearly or consistently on this and God will not be mocked.

Resolve it now in your mind, Christian: the Bible is the God-breathed Word that serves as our plumb line for all matters of truth and holiness.

If we insert anything else as the source of wisdom on right or wrong, wisdom or folly, it will stem from the sinful human heart, which is desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). Some might be quick to agree with this but fail to connect the dots that all men and women are capable of deviating from the truth of God’s Word, even someone as renowned as Alistair Begg.

What Begg counseled stands against God’s Word and leads Christians to compromise on several critical truths on which God leaves no room for interpretation. Marriage is an absolutely vital, God-ordained institution that is deeply connected to how we love our neighbors. The next generation needs marriage to be healthy and elevated, not diminished, to God’s glory.

Biblical love does not corrupt or pervert in any way God’s good creation and design.

May Alistair Begg listen to his own words from the 2023 Liberty University Convocation:

“I want to say to you as an older man now, that if you are in Christ, you have no freedom to believe anything other than what Jesus has said. If you believe in Christ, you have no freedom to behave outside the shepherding boundaries of a God who knows best.”

And again may Begg listen to himself where he also recently and rightly said:

“Either we are operating from a worldview that is framed by the thought forms of the age or by a worldview that is grounded in the will of God. No possibility of compromise, actually between, the two. They’re incompatible…we cannot hate and we cannot affirm because of God’s Word. We have to be prepared to say we are unprepared to rewrite the Bible in order to accommodate a society that needs the Bible and needs the Jesus who is the focus of the Bible.”

To the above words Alistair Begg spoke yes and amen!

These are sound counsel from and consistent with God’s Word. They are what you should have said to this grandmother and they are compassionate.

But your above words do not square with your 2023 advice you gave to this grandmother in 2023 and are now defending.

Pastor Begg, your recent words and defense are in fact outside the shepherding boundaries of the God who knows best.

Humbly repent and change your mind on this to God’s glory. And Christian reading this, hold fast to God’s Word and truth. He does know best and He has told us repeatedly and clearly what is good (Micah 6:8)!

Soli Deo Gloria.