Public discourse is frequently angry, full of yelling, name-calling, and “gotcha” statements.
There’s no love and often little truth in the interaction.
Christians are supposed to be different. One verse people often point to as an example of this is Ephesians 4:15:
“…speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.”
We’re supposed to interact and engage with the world in a way that brings honor and glory to the One who created it. Unfortunately, we don’t really know what it means to speak the truth in love.
Both love and truth are concepts that have been twisted, redefined, and confused by this troubled world we live in. If we want to be effective in our ministry, we need to learn what it means to speak the truth in love.
What is truth?
According to popular ideologies, truth essentially has no meaning. Instead, it bases itself on emotion or feeling. Today, truth is whatever you’re experiencing at the moment. It’s ever-changing, unsteady, and tossed to and fro by waves of doubt. It’s informed by postmodernism and claims each person has their own truth.
Biblically, truth is objective.
It’s not based on feelings, and we don’t get personal versions of it. John 17:17 calls God’s Word truth, and in John 14:6, Christ calls Himself the truth. The scriptural definition of truth is the Word of God, which makes sense because He spoke all things into existence, including truth.
What is love?
Love is also misdefined in our culture, and is also based entirely on feelings. Our world considers love a self-serving, passionate emotion that you feel when you’re attracted to someone or when you really like someone or something. This is evident in the LGBTQ+, self-love, sexual liberation, and pro-abortion movements.
Practically, love often gets mixed up with niceness.
We tend to think that you only love someone or something if you’re being outwardly nice and agreeable to them and their ideas. It’s one of the reasons there is so much hate towards those who have biblical views on abortion, sexuality, and gender. People have a hard time separating beliefs and identity, so they think those who disagree with them are attacking their identity.
The world’s definition of love has become essentially, “I’ll be nice to you as long as you’re nice to me.”
Biblically, love is sacrificial.
It’s not anchored in emotion, instead, anchoring itself in God, Who is love. Love is connected to action. The most famous biblical passage on love, 1 Corinthians 13, describes love entirely in action words, and specifically, actions that go above and beyond to put someone else first.
So, what is speaking the truth in love?
Interestingly enough, Ephesians 4:15 refers specifically to believers speaking to other believers – not necessarily believers interacting with the world. Francis Folks, in a commentary on Ephesians, points out that verse 15 contrasts verse 14:
“that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.”
Instead of being tossed by waves of false doctrine, we are to speak the truth. Rather than speak with human cunning, we’re to speak with love. Rather than continuing as children, we’re to grow up into Christ, our head.
With all of this in mind, “speaking the truth” in love might be best defined as speaking God’s word to others in such a way that puts them first, without compromising Scripture – to help each other grow in Christ.
But it’s a good passage to apply to any situation in which we are speaking to someone – believer or non-believer. 1 Peter 3:15 tells us that we are to always be “prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.”
We’re to do it “with gentleness and respect.”
Understanding what it means to speak the truth in love will equip and encourage us to boldly speak the gospel to a lost world in a manner that honors and glorifies Christ.
