I used to love to fly. It began with my first jet ride in 1969 out of Bismarck, North Dakota. I don’t recall the destination airport, but I was entered in a speaking competition in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

It was on a Boeing 707–the same model of aircraft I would fly on round trip from Seattle to Minneapolis/St. Paul a year later. Talk about uncomplicated! Buy a ticket. Friends and family accompanying you. Go directly to your gate. Board by sections of rows. Grab a magazine. Enjoy plenty of legroom and a nice meal with good portions en route. Friendly stewardesses.

Well, that’s what we called them then.

Oh how things changed over time. These days, even my preferred flights on Southwest are enough to make a person cry. Unless you’re “special,” no more ”Bags Fly Free.” No more “open seating” as of January 27th. You do have options for seating—for extra costs. Yes, soft drinks and a choice of a few snacks are still given to those on select flights of 251 miles or more. A bigger snack choice is offered to those flying between Hawaii and the continental US.

But no free meals. No generous legroom. Even the often comical flight attendants—and pilots—are in short supply. (i.e., Captain X: “You might want to congratulate flight attendant Debbie. She’s getting married this Saturday! [pause] Don’t get too excited. This is her third marriage!) The cabin fills with laughter.

Flying today, however, is much more complicated. Since 9/11, we have those super security systems in place. Out come the electronics. Off come coats and bulky sweaters. Maybe shoes. And then put your arms up like a criminal for your body parts to be scanned.

Is there any way to “beat the system” on this complicated security and boarding process? The good news is…YES! Well, depending on your willingness to “con” the system.

I refer you now to a Wall Street Journal (WSJ) article from December of last year. It’s titled, “They Get Wheeled on Flights and Miraculously Walk Off. Praise ‘Jetway Jesus.’” Sounds very spiritual, doesn’t it?

Sadly, I must admit to using this scam—I mean special customer assistance—myself. I’m a diabetic, now with balance and other ”issues,” making long airport walks a major challenge. Most airlines now offer “wheelchair assistance” to me and others with more serious medical problems. This often gets me through security faster and boarding earlier.

Ah—but the “not hurting populace” has caught on. As the WSJ reports, a recent flight had 25 wheelchair passengers waiting to pre-board! This is far above the norm from yesteryear.

“The flight attendant explained…. that many able-bodied passengers request wheelchairs for ‘the VIP experience’—an escort down the jetway that lets them skip the lines and gives them first crack at overhead space. Once they realize at the end of the flight that they have to wait for assistance to disembark, the healing begins.”

Ya think people don’t notice? The social media crowd have referred to these return-to-sudden-mobility cures as “Jetway Jesus.”  The remarkable recovery acts have earned these flying healings the title of “miracle flights.”

Except, of course, for the many fakers! Flight crews and the genuinely needy disabled are tired of this abuse of the system. The crews may have to work late because of delays in getting passengers on and off flights—especially when there’s a shortage of wheelchairs.

Apparently, this growing problem is one big reason why Southwest went to pre-assigned seats. I wish that were not true but it likely is.

Chicago is blessed to have two excellent airports—O’Hare and Midway. The region may eventually get a third. This proposed third airport was included in a 2019 capital bill signed by Governor Pritzker. Part of REBUILD Illinois. It would also include road improvements that would connect Interstate 57 to the proposed airport site.

More flights. More passengers. More wheelchairs.

How about this. Perhaps airlines could hire “faith healers” to stand at the jetway doors and lay hands on “the sick.” That might scare a lot of them into pre-board healing!

Jesus healed..and continues to heal, for real. The Jetway Jesus types would not likely seek Him out.

They might lose the best seats on the plane!