Certainly one has a right to wonder why I would have such an offending title to this article on Rhonda’s and my 49th anniversary—January 15th. It does deserve an explanation.

First, in my recent stay at a Catholic rehab facility, several of the staff members actually thought my wife was my daughter! Scary—for me!

I’m not sure what percentage of the rehab workers were Catholic. It matters not, except to say that at least two—maybe three—of the females were quite young. As is often the case when I meet new youngins’, I will inquire if they have a love interest. I never say boyfriend or girlfriend in our DEI era.

Two of the girls (maybe all three) said yes. Fortunately, males. But then came the wince factor for me. They not only have boyfriends, they live with them.

It’s quite common these days. Probably fueled by shows like Friends or an ample number of movies in the last several decades including Friends with Benefits.

I really don’t know the motives of girls or young women who choose to do this. But I can clearly see why guys love the idea of “a friend with benefits.” How utterly non-committal. Ditch them when you grow tired of them. Leave ‘em crying if you must. Do what works for YOU.

During my stay in rehab, several people asked what the “secret” was to our lasting marriage of 49 years. I simply answered with a single word: commitment. Or, the better term, covenant. Very biblical.

Such a risky thing—to commit to love a person all through your life. It’s likely why the traditional marriage vows have been scrapped and replaced by “write your own” versions. Without that commitment stuff.

While in rehab, I came across a story sourced at “Daily Motivation | WhatsApp Channel.” It’s titled, The Ugly Wife. I will quote just a bit of it, starting with the opening.

One day, a man went to visit his elderly father and said firmly,

“Dad, I want to divorce my wife. My wife has changed. She’s no longer young. Her body isn’t the same anymore. She doesn’t take care of herself the way she used to. I think I deserve someone better…A younger, slimmer, more attractive woman.”

The old father looked at him silently.

Then he said,

“Let me come to your house tomorrow. I want to see her myself. And if you’re right… I’ll support your decision.”

After the father’s visit, he observed all that his son’s wife does to bless him. Wisely he said,

“When you stop looking with love, everything starts to look ‘ugly.’ And when you water with indifference, even the most beautiful flower withers.”

As Rhonda and I have journeyed through life together, we have observed many friends and loved ones who have lived out their marriage vows. The majority are people of the Christian faith. Yes, we’ve seen some divorce as well. Always with pain.

The father’s closing statements to his son reflect great wisdom:

“A wife doesn’t become young again through surgery or filters—but through kind words, gentle touches, and respect. If you truly want a beautiful woman, make your woman feel loved again.”

Whether in the hospital or rehab, my beautiful wife was constantly with me during the hours allowed. Now back at home, she continues to work tirelessly to help me regain strength and my balance. She even sleeps in the recliner several feet away from me since stairs are still an issue for me.

In the classic movie The Princess Bride, Westley defines true love  in a way that Christians can easily relate to. He says, “Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while,” And speaking of its rarity he adds,”This is true love. You think this happens every day?”

Regrettably, it doesn’t. Living together without commitment will not get you there.

Jesus taught us this:

“They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And He said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” (Matthew 19:4-9, NLT)

That’s the way it is. For me, and my beautiful wife.