At the local festival my daughter and husband were attending, the young man selling tickets had a bone structure that said “male,” but clothing and makeup (and a sticker with preferred pronouns) that insisted otherwise. After they had walked away from the table, my daughter, understandably confused, asked, “Daddy, is that a boy or a girl?” My husband answered her in an age-appropriate way, but he confessed later that he was grateful that exchange hadn’t happened in front of the young man.
Given that we live in a progressive, urban area, that night was just the first of many moments in which we’ve felt ourselves freeze a little, hoping our kids don’t notice someone’s behavior or appearance and that, if they do, they don’t make their observations too loudly.
I suppose we brought this on ourselves, having taught our kids about the goodness of our bodies as created, answered in the negative when they ask childlike questions such as, “will I ever be a (opposite gender)?”, and extolled and lived out the goodness of marriage as between one man and one woman. If we had done the opposite, ignoring, or worse, praising the rampant sin around us, we probably would not find ourselves in so many potentially awkward situations. As tempting as that path might be, we aren’t willing to trade our kids’ safety or moral clarity for social comfort.
The Lines are Drawn
Almost exactly ten years ago, I arrived for my first day of work as the Director of Student Interns at Family Research Council in Washington, D.C. I had barely walked into my office on the sixth floor when my boss said, “Come downstairs. We’re going to the Supreme Court.” Climbing into a taxi, I met a few of my new interns for the first time. The rest I met on the steps of the nation’s highest Court. Our new friendship was galvanized as we spent the next few hours in a minority group, enduring hecklers while holding signs that said, “Kids Do Best with a Mom and a Dad.”
Later that day, we made our way back to the office, feet sore and hearts heavy over the Court’s decision on Obergefell v. Hodges. We had been mocked and called hateful even as the pro-LGBT crowd celebrated the landmark decision. Over the next few days, we absorbed what had happened and tried to find our footing on the other side of the Rubicon.
As we read the decision and revisited audio from oral arguments, I was disheartened but not surprised to read in Justice Alito’s dissent the warning that in the future, “[The decision] will be used to vilify Americans who are unwilling to assent to the new orthodoxy.” These words proved prophetic, and those of us who hold to a biblical sexual ethic have found ourselves playing defense in many ways ever since.
From Kim Davis, the county clerk who went to jail for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, to Jack Phillips, the baker who was dragged through massive years-long legal battles for saying no when asked to create a cake for a same-sex wedding and later, a “sex change,” and many lower profile cases in between, suddenly our beliefs, which had been mainstream even among liberals, made us outliers. Bigots. Dangerous.
Unintended Consequences or Master Plan?
The effects of Obergefell were by no means limited to the question of gay marriage, as Justice Alito and other dissenting justices predicted. What started as a slow slide became a rapid descent into radical sexual ethics, which quickly invaded even formerly off-limits spaces, such as schools and libraries.
As devastating as the effects of the pandemic were, the awareness it brought to parents concerning what their children were being exposed to in school was a silver lining. As schools closed and moved to online instruction, parents suddenly got to be “flies on the wall,” and what they observed was alarming. Kids all over the nation were being exposed to radical, destructive philosophies on a variety of topics, including sexuality. This was brand new information for many moms and dads.
The ripple effect of Obergefell continued expanding, calling into question parental rights and authority. After all, if same-sex couples can get married, then gender isn’t relevant to marriage and sex. If sexual expression is one of, if not the highest of goods, then even the youngest of children should be educated about it. According to the pro-LGBTQ lobby, parents who disagree with this line of thinking aren’t just old-fashioned. They’re dangerous. Just ask the Biden Justice Department, which characterized concerned parents as potential terrorists.
Religious Freedom Over Radicalism
If there’s anything Obergefell (and a long list of other U.S. Supreme Court cases) taught us, it is that the makeup of the High Court matters. A slim majority can make all the difference, for good or ill. That’s where the sad tale of Obergefell’s fallout takes an unexpected, hopeful turn.
Mahmoud v. Taylor is a recent U.S. Supreme Court case that pitted parents against the Montgomery County, Maryland school board, which had introduced LGBTQ+-inclusive texts into public school curriculum. Initially, parents were given a chance to opt their kids out, but when more and more families requested this option, the school board ended the policy altogether. Unsurprisingly, this was unacceptable to a large group of parents from diverse religious backgrounds, from Muslims to Catholics. They sued, claiming the board’s decision to remove the opt-out was an infringement on the free exercise of religion.
Even a mere five years ago, the outcome of this decision would have been in serious doubt. With a 5-4 split in the Court and at least one (or two) possible swing votes, there is a real chance the Court could have decided in the school board’s favor. But U.S. Supreme Court Justice appointments from President Trump’s first term seem to have made the difference this past Friday, when the High Court handed a decisive victory to the Maryland parents, and by extension, to families throughout the nation.
A Reset and a Reprieve
In granting a win to the parents in this case, the U.S. Supreme Court recognized the right of parents to bring their children up in the way that they see fit. It also acknowledged that a person’s faith tradition is intrinsic to their beliefs on sex, gender, marriage, and personhood. There have been a good many victories for conservatives, Christians, and plain old common sense these last few weeks, so it would be easy to miss just how earth-shattering Mahmoud is. Make no mistake, it is a massive, fantastic development for parents and kids in our country, and we should thank God for His mercy!
After several dark years of growing government overreach into parental rights, this case reinstates parents as the proper authority in their kids’ lives, even on hot-button issues that have been increasingly treated as untouchable. Whereas many radical voices had incorrectly believed they had won and therefore had a right to indoctrinate our children into their worldview, Mahmoud is a resounding rebuke to their hubris.
My husband and I know we cannot hope to fully shield our kids from the darkness swirling around us. Sadly, the cat is out of the bag on gender and sexuality, which means our kids will ask many more and harder questions as they mature and grow in their awareness of the brokenness around them. But tonight, I am breathing a sigh of relief, knowing that at least for now, when my husband and I act to guard our kids’ hearts and minds by determining when and how they will be exposed to certain ideas, we won’t risk legal repercussions to do so.
God willing, Obergefell will end up on the ash-heap of history, right alongside Roe. Mahmoud just might be the first step in that direction. Let’s pray it is.
