America is a nation blessed with plenty. America is strong, rich, and leads the world in many ways. But we can’t expect these things to last if we don’t fix an inconvenient dearth—America is severely lacking babies. One researcher found that 29% of American nonparents don’t want to have children. Another study found that America’s birth rate is about 1.6 children per woman—not even enough to maintain the population level from generation to generation. At this rate, we might as well hang a sign on our nation’s metaphorical door warning, “Grown-ups Only.”
Why would this be? Sure, we disagree about basically everything in today’s fractured world, but you would think people could agree on the importance of having children. On a practical level, a low birth rate makes economists nervous, high school teachers depressed, national defense strategists anxious, and social security administrators broke. Every aspect of our world depends on an up-and-coming generation to carry on the good things we have going right now.
Whether or not you believe God’s Word, you must admit that on a fundamental level, children are an incredible blessing. There’s a reason you can’t help but smile back at the chubby face in the stroller as a mom and her baby walk by. And who wouldn’t want the joy of reading Dr. Seuss to your four-year-old, cheering in the baseball stands for your 13-year-old, and watching your 22-year-old walk across the stage with a diploma in hand? Sure, there will be a lot of sweat and tears between those highlights, but nothing worthwhile comes without hard work. Especially because all of us adults used to be children, and someone put in the hard work for us, you’d think that we could all agree on the importance of doing this for others as well!
But no, apparently not. According to Pew, 47% of adults under 50 in 2023 say they are unlikely to ever have kids. Sure, 13% of that group ascribes this to infertility or other medical reasons. But 57% of that group says they “just don’t want to.”
Others were a bit more specific about their reasons for not having kids. Some want to concentrate on other things, like their career or interests (44% of the group). Some have concerns about the state of the world or the environment (26%–38%). Others say they can’t afford all that comes with raising a child (36%). Or—wait for it—they “don’t really like children” (20%).
I’m going to tip my hand here and confess that I don’t find any of these reasons compelling. But before I explain why, one disclaimer is in order. I only intend to explain why these reasons—in the abstract—are not good. I do not intend to judge particular couples’ fertility patterns without knowing more about their situations. Even as I proclaim that children are a blessing from God, I acknowledge that God sometimes withholds this blessing for reasons that we might not understand. So if you’re reading this and you don’t have children, please understand that I am critiquing these particular reasons; I am not critiquing you unless you made your decision exclusively based on this rationale.
Now let’s examine the depressing mindset articulated in these common reasons for choosing not to have children.
1) “Just don’t want to” or “Don’t really like children.”
Both of these communicate the same thing: There is no compelling reason to have children, so my mere whims and preferences are sufficient reasons to remain childless. This implies that we have lost the biblical emphasis on children and family as a blessing. You can’t read the Bible and not believe there are good reasons to have children. The Bible commands us to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28), that children are a heritage and reward from the Lord (Psalm 127:3), and that when you are old, your children’s children will be your crown (Proverbs 17:6). Children are how God’s dominion mandate is fulfilled, and God rewards us when we obey Him.
2) “Want to focus on my career and interests”
This does acknowledge something true—children require a lot of work, which is effort that could technically be spent on things that bring more immediate benefit to you. But now comes the deeper question: is your effort better spent on blessing someone else, or on blessing yourself? The fact that so many of today’s would-be parents are choosing the latter indicates that we have lost the biblical emphasis on love as doing what is best for someone else.
And yes, that often requires sacrificing what is “best” for you. But that is just what love is, stemming directly from the example of Jesus Christ Himself. If a mom is willing to sacrifice her career for her kids, then it shows that she loves her kids more than her career, and in a sense, she loves her kids more than herself. That should be admirable in anyone’s book.
As I said earlier, the ironic part about this aversion to children is that every single one of us has been one. Most of us spent a couple of decades being poured into by the people who raised us. But the Bible says that it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). How sad it is when we have spent so much time receiving but can’t muster up the same kind of love to give to someone else.
3) “Concerned about the state of the world or the environment”
This is just fear. And God tells us to fear not. But come to think of it, if you’re driven away from the blessing of parenthood because of fear of bad times, who’s to say you wouldn’t be driven away even during good times? No matter how good the environment is, raising a child will always feel scary. Pregnancy is scary. So is your child’s 13th birthday. So is their decision to go off to college or enlist in the military. This whole world—let alone the specific corner of it that involves child-raising—is scary. But is it ruled by a God bigger than any threat we could ever face, the ultimate Father Who lives in community Himself. So, we need not fear.
America needs more children, and right now, a pretty superficial set of reasons is convincing many not to be fruitful and multiply. It’s time for us to remember that children are a blessing from the Lord, that love requires sacrifice for someone else’s good, and that God is bigger than it all. Plus, babies are just downright cute. It’s hard to argue with that.
