“All of my friends who have kids are in hell.
I don’t know anyone who is happy and has children at this age.”

Chappell Roan, the Grammy-nominated singer and songwriter known for her drag queen makeup aesthetic and pro-lesbian lyrics, shocked the internet with her recent appearance on Call Her Daddy with Alex Cooper, the most listened-to podcast by women in America today.

In their conversation, the topic eventually shifted to the subject of children– more specifically, how horrible children are and how awful motherhood is.

“I literally have not met anyone who is happy,
anyone who has light in their eyes, anyone who has slept.”

Chappell’s comments on the subject of motherhood garnered widespread attention, especially from Christian conservatives.

While I am not worried that Chappell will sway Christian conservatives, I do think her comments are worth some pushback given the feedback she received–from mothers.

A Today article noted some comments on the Call Her Daddy episode from mothers who “connected” with Chappell Roan’s observations.

“Mothers are so tired! It’s true.”

“YESSS. Finally someone speaking my language.”

“49-year-mom of grown children. You are not wrong, girl. Being a mom in this country is … rough.”

“I felt this in my soul.”

“I love my child with my entire heart but everything she said was absolutely true for me.”

“She is speaking the truth. Being a parent is hell.”

“You have to understand: In the Midwest, a lot of people get married and have kids out of obligation, not because they actually want kids. I know a lot of people like that and they’re miserable.”

As someone who is 30 weeks pregnant, when I read the “positive” comments, I was shocked, but not because the comments shook my desire to welcome my daughter into the world. Rather, I was shocked at the level of selfishness and self-centeredness displayed on the internet for all to see.

I cannot imagine one of these kids growing up, finding their mom’s comment on this video, and reading “She is speaking the truth. Being a parent is hell.”

This brings me to the main point I want to make to Chappell Roan and all the mothers who somehow resonated with her negative, self-centered view of motherhood.

Just because being a mom is not easy, does not mean that it is not good.

From a biblical perspective, many of the tasks and disciplines Christians are called to are not easy–loving your neighbor as yourself (Matt. 22:39), praying for your enemies (Matt. 5:44), being devoted to prayer (Col. 4:2), being sacrificial in your love and respect towards your spouse (Eph. 5:22-33).

Nevertheless, these things are good.

They lead to fulfillment, purpose, meaning, and joy because when we do them, we walk in faithful obedience to God’s Word.

In a similar sense, motherhood, though it is not easy (the sleepless nights, the demanding schedule of 24/7, 365 days per year), it is still worth it.

A secular view of motherhood sees children as assets–something that needs a positive return for the investment to be considered wise. When the asset is not positive in its return (sleepless nights, demanding schedules, no days off), the “investment” is labeled a failure and the children bear the blame.

But a biblical, proper view of motherhood views children as a blessing, a heritage, and a gift to be stewarded (Ps 127).

This is the driving doctrine of why motherhood is so worth it. Worth the sleepless nights, worth no days off. Because children are a gift from God to be stewarded well–to be discipled, to be loved, and to be nurtured.

When we take our eyes off ourselves and what we “aren’t getting out of the deal,” we start to see the bigger picture.

The Lord chose our daughter to be part of my and my husband’s family. He chose us to be her parents–her parents. She is a gift from God to us. She has been entrusted into our care, and we have the responsibility to protect her, provide for her, and nurture her.

By the grace of God, we will do all of those things for her.

It won’t be easy, but it will 100% be worth it.

Chappell Roan, her friends, and all the women who agreed with her negative perspective of motherhood have lost sight of what motherhood is truly about.

Nurturing and raising children for the Kingdom of God.