Written by Noel Sterett

Dear Uncle Screwtape,

I’m afraid the gig is up. My patient knows we are dealing in human babies now. These Planned Parenthood videos are making it impossible for me to use our usual marketing  terms “reproductive healthcare,” “clump of cells,” and “tissue donation” to describe the destruction and dissection of babies for dollars.  What should I do?

Sincerely yours,

Wormwood

****

Dear Wormwood,

Stop freaking out. Your patient has long known we were dealing in human babies. Our battle for more babies will not be won where “truth” is relevant—be it in the sciences or in the hearts of “truth-seekers.” Our Enemy usually wins there. Rather our battle for more babies will be won where “truth” is not just irrelevant but inconvenient. Your job now is to show your patient just how inconvenient this “truth” is. He will lose friends. He will have to vote differently. And worse still, Our Enemy may convince him concerning the baby we took from him after he pressured his girlfriend to have that “clump of cells” removed long ago.

Let him stew in that guilt and turn it into shame, despair, depression—and suicide if you can (I heard physicians are starting to assist with those). Whatever you do, don’t let him publicly acknowledge or rebuke what we are doing with babies, for such public statements will bring him one step closer to Our Enemy and His fateful steps of confession, repentance, and ugh, forgiveness. In closing, Wormwood, please do not underestimate what we can obtain for our Father Below when we appeal to a human’s self-interest. The current market is 3,500 baby organs for one Lamborghini Diablo.

Your affectionate uncle,

Screwtape

Noel Sterett is a Partner at Mauck & Baker, LLC in Chicago and an Alliance Defending Freedom Allied Attorney. Originally published at MauckBaker.com.